Are You a Finisher?

In work and in life it is not always enough just to get started.  The first day of a diet, exercise plan, or resolve to change anything in one’s life is usually pretty easy.  You wake up, and “this is the first day of the rest of your life”, right!  Easy, you can do this, this time it will be different.  “I am in control.”  About mid way through the day, someone throws you a new dead line for a project, you lose a deal, something that you thought was a sure thing – isn’t.  But you are still okay, no need to turn to the old habit, you can handle this.  Life happens, no biggy, right?

After a few days and a few more disappointments, the vigor of the first day starts to wear a little thin.  Let’s face it, you lose, that is what you do, so why continue with the resolve to change.  Slowly you give in to your defeated feelings and by the end of the week it is all over, time to quit.

This same scenario can apply to something you are trying to achieve.  Maybe you are building a business, starting a charity, creating a new life for yourself.  You start strong, and the resolve lasts for a while and then you give up, “this can never work”, “what was I thinking?”  “I can’t achieve big things”.  And so the dream ends.

The difference between you and those that seem to “get lucky” and make it, is not that they are smarter, faster, have more money, or better connections.  The difference is that they just keep trying and ultimately they finish what they start.  Oh it may not look exactly as they thought it would in the beginning, but none-the-less they finish.  When they run into obstacles, they are just as disappointed as you, but instead of stopping, they just get up and go around, or over, or under the obstacle.

So how is such tenacity born?  Tenacity comes from inside of you.  It is learning to believe in what you are trying to accomplish and seeing yourself achieving it.  Tenacity comes from thinking positively and then speaking positively.  It comes from learning how to control your thinking, so that the urge to quit never enters your mind.

No mater what you are trying to accomplish, starting is not enough.  In order to live your dreams you must learn to become a finisher.  Start with the small stuff.  Finish that report, that book, or finish cleaning up the office.  Finish writing your resume, finish those phone calls.  Finishing is just as important as starting, and it feels even better.

New Year, New Passion

The new year has a way of making everyone feel like we have new resolve to accomplish anything.  It lays before us like freshly fallen snow.  Our first step in the year can be in any direction we want, it is still all uncharted, undisturbed and unknown.  It is full of possibilities and we all feel like this will be “our” year.  Our passion is high and our desire is to change our future.

We are happy to say goodbye to the last year.  By now it is bursting with the disappointments, distractions and perhaps even tragedies left over from last year’s passions and possibilities.  It is time to shake off the old year and look to the new year to bring about the changes we wanted the last.

At the beginning of each year is always a good time to not only plan all the things that we want to accomplish with the new year, but to examine how long those plans have been on the list.  We all know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome, but we continue to put things on our “to do” list each year that just never get done.  Now is a great time to ask ourselves what we can do differently.

Losing weight and stop smoking were among the top ten new year’s resolutions made by Americans this year.  If one or both of those things have been on your list for the last five years and you continue to fall short, perhaps it is not time to rethink the goal as much as, it is the strategy for accomplishment.  “Cutting back” on food is not working, perhaps its time for a personal trainer or nutritionist to help you step up the game.  If you can’t stop smoking on your own, perhaps a visit to the doctor is in order.  Many people fall short of their goals because they fail to seek the help they need to do so.

The same is true in your work or business.  What kind of goals are you trying to achieve?  Have you exhausted all of the ways to achieve the break through you need?  Probably not, most of us just dig in and keep trying.  The last thing most people resort to is asking for help, but whatever you are trying to do in your work, there is likely someone who has done it, perhaps it is time to ask how?

Nothing refreshes our passion for life and work more than achieving our goals.  When we can see ourselves as winners, we can go on to tackle bigger and better things in life.  Rarely, however, do we let ourselves do so because we just keep doing today, exactly what we did yesterday.  It may not work, but at least we are trying and we look pretty busy.

The phrase “think outside the box” comes from the idea that great achievements and amazing new products come from trying something just a little different, outside of “normal”.  So take a look around your box and decide which walls need to be pushed out.  If you have trouble conceptualizing where to push, get some help.  Talk to a friend or co-worker, read some books, hire a coach, take a class, whatever it takes to look at your problem differently, do it!

Resolve to be looking at completely new goals next year at this time.  Determine to break through and look for new outcomes to old problems.  Don’t keep looking in the same places for answers to old problems, start expanding your thinking and you will be amazed at the outcome.

 

What Would You Do?

Have you ever thought about what you would do if you knew you could not fail? I know that is one of those questions motivative speakers ask you to get you all fired up. But for real, have you ever thought about it.

I ask this question because I just signed up for a boot camp to teach me how to do something that is out of my comfort zone. As I contemplate the next month that I will be working with this guy it makes me think of that question.

Rarely do most people do new things. Most folks are quite content creating a little routine that gets them all they need, but few ever step out to, say, jump out of plane or sign up for an art class.

And why is that? I think mostly because we think we might fail. Failure seems to have a remarkable way of seeming like the very worst thing that could happen to us. So we don’t do a lot of new and uncomfortable things just because we might fail or may not be that good at them.

Anyway, as I start my new adventure, think about something you have always wanted to do and do it. Even failing might be at least a change and may just catapult you to a new place that will make your life even better. Here’s to new adventures. I’ll let you known if I survive bootcamp.

What Do People Like About You?

While listening to one of my news shows this morning (yes, I am a news junky) I heard one commentator say that a politician has to do two things to be successful.  They have to first get people to like them, and then they have to get those same people to act on that emotion and go and vote for them.  As I thought about that, I realized that this is not unlike those of us who must network to get the message out about our product or service.  First we have to get people to like us and then we have to get them to act on that feeling and give us a referral.  Sort of makes one feel a little creepy to know that we are all like politicians, but that aside, let’s think about how we get people to like us.

Whether someone likes us or not depends on what they know about us, but more importantly, what we know about ourselves.  Do you know what it is that makes people like you?  I know, you are nice, pleasant, make eye contact, have a firm handshake, wear your name tag on the right side of your lapel and you smile a lot and give the occasional referral, but beyond that what is at the core of why people like you.  Can you articulate what it is about you that attracts people to you?  Are people attracted to you?  If you met you at a meeting, would you come over and talk to you?

Unlike politicians, we cannot “invent” our image.  It must be real, because, as we know, politicians make people like them every 2 or 3 years and the rest of the time they get to be themselves.  As business owners, we need people to like us, trust us and want to do business with us all the time.  It is important for each of us to look critically at ourselves and figure out those qualities that best define us and then allow those qualities to shine at networking events and with our clients.  If you are strong and assertive, use those traits to lead and direct, people like leaders.  If you are quiet and detail oriented use those traits to engage in support and serving on committees that keep things growing, people love people who can be depended upon.  If you are fun and love people, use those skills to connect new people to events and other people, everyone loves connectors.  Whatever your skills and gifts are, use them and highlight them so that you become known for those traits.

I have worked with lots and lots of people, helping them find their core strengths and I can tell you there I have never worked with a single person who does not have some fabulous strength that needs to be highlighted.  So what do people like about you?  If you don’t know, start asking your friends, employees, co-workers and acquaintances.  Once you get a good idea, start using your assets to build those relationships that make people act on what they like about you.

What are Your Barriers?

Coaches are always looking for clues that will unlock a problem or problems that the client has on the way to success.  Whether we are looking at business or personal success, the process is often the same when it comes to uncovering the barriers that stand in our way.

Barriers are attitudes, ideas, beliefs, habits, self-talk, long-held family beliefs, and fears that rumble around in our heads and keep us from reaching for the goals we are trying to achieve and can even keep us from healthy relationships with family and friends.  And like a barrier found on a road, until it is removed you are simply not driving through.

When we have a barrier in our mind about anything, it can be very difficult to overcome because like many things in life, we may not even realize it is there.  The kinds of barriers often include doubts about personal qualification stemming from prior bad experiences or words spoken to us, conflicted thinking about the kind of business we are involved in, concerns about our own ability to handle problems and so on.  The kinds of barriers are as many as the people who have them.

So how do we remove these barriers?  The first step is to determine what the barrier may be and how we arrived in front of it.  Folks can go an long time never running into a personal barrier, and then all of the sudden they embark on something new and all of their prior success becomes meaningless and they hit a wall.  It could be as simple as entering unfamiliar territory in a career (new type of business in new industry) or in a personal life (new relationship or loss of a relationship) to having an old memory trigger a personal response that sets one back for a while.  Take time to analyze the situation.  Write down everything that is new in your life.  See if you can uncover the clues.

Once you have uncovered the barrier, consider its validity.  Sometimes, like the monster in the closet for a child, once we turn a light on it, the barrier will simply disappear.  I have had clients simply smile and move on as they figure out what the barrier is and how silly it is to be trapped by the idea.  Others may take some time to work through, especially if it has been with you for some time.  But casting light on it is the first step.

Next analyze exalting how it is affecting your success.  Knowing this can help you cope and move forward until you are able to overcome the problems it causes.  The barriers that have been with us for a long time are the ones that will take the longest to overcome.

Don’t be afraid to get help from a friend or even a professional if the barrier you experience is constantly preventing your success.

So what are the goals that you never seem to achieve.  What are the achievements that constantly allude you, that seem to be just beyond your reach.  Ask yourself why?  Is the a barrier you need to overcome to get to that goal.  Look carefully at your whole life, not just business.  Many times when we are trying to achieve health goals or personal relaionship goals comments and untruths that we have embraced as truth could keep us from the success we seek in our lives.  What are your barriers?  We all have them, it is how we handle them that makes all the difference.

Keeping Your Business Focused in an Unfocused World

I admire folks who have the uncanny ability to “do it all”.  They tirelessly work several several businesses and manage getting kids to school, do some volunteer work, get to a couple networking groups, all while seeming completely in control of everything.  Sadly most of us find it difficult to do many things at a time.

And that is also true if you are trying to build a more than one busines simultaneously.  Trying to build a couple of businesses at a time can really be a challenge for the builder, but it is even more so for those watching the process.  The problem is that even though many people may be able to build a couple of businesses at a time, those watching them find it hard to decide how to think of them.  You see we all like to pigeon-hole people.  We think of our colleagues in terms of what they do.  If our colleagues do too much, we get very unclear as to how to describe them.  This can affect your business because if someone doesn’t know what you really do, they find it hard to connect you to others.

So what is the answer?  Before you start trying to decide what you love to do best, and eliminating everything else, let me offer a thought.  Like many of you out there I am not just one dimensional when it comes to business.  I coach and mentor, run a travel business and work to build networking groups to connect people.  The single thread that I have running through everything I do is “helping people make connections to people and opportunity”.  I try to create my message about who I am around that theme.  Whether I am coaching a business owner, mentoring a team member or developing a new group, I am helping people to meet people to help their businesses grow, or I can even offer them a business opportunity.  I think of myself, at the highest level, as a connector and I believe that one truth is what keeps me focused.  I get great satisfaction from helping people get to where they want to go and I enjoy helping people have fun in their daily lives.

So what is the message?  If you are one of those multi-talented, multi-faceted business owners that seemly does completely unrelated activities in the same day, think about the high level connections of all your activities.  Find a thread of commanality that you can use to brand your activities and help your business friends identify you easily.  Build your 30 second commercial around this common thread, make it part of your everyday language and soon people will see you more clearly and you will see your referrals pick up.

The essence of branding is to create focus.  Sometimes we think it is about spinning truth, for me it is quite the contrary.  It is creating an authentic message about you, your business or both that allows people to have a way of thinking about you that gives them guidance as to how to interact with you and your business.  I am a big believer in branding one’s self because, when you make changes to your job or business, you don’t necessarily have to change your overall message about your brand.  Personal branding for the solopreneur can keep your message consistent and real.  Life happens and changes need to be made, if you can keep people thinking of you and what you do as the brand, there is less to explain in the end.

So how focused are you about what you do?  Get clear on the message you want people hear.  What is your essence?  I believe at my heart I am a connector of people to information, opportunity, growth and other people.  Everything that I do connects people to something.  I love people and I get satisfaction from creating connections.  So what is your essence?

Do Your Goals Stretch You?

I was listening to Matt Morris of the Unemployed Millionaire Blog talk about goals.  He was talking about big goals and how our goals should scare us a little.  He says we should set what he calls BHAG (big, hairy audacious goals) that stretch our thinking and our ability to achieve them.

I do have agree, that some of our goals should really stretch us.  So what what does that actually mean “stretch us”.  Let’s examine that word for a minute, if you think of an elastic band stretching, think about how we can stretch and stretch and stretch it, and it won’t break.  It just gets longer and bigger.  Now sometimes we can stretch them so far that they will break, so we want to make sure those goals don’t break us.  Another principle to keep in mind, is that we should not had a lot of “stretch goals”, just one or maybe two at a time.  That elastic band breaks under too much pressure, and you don’t want to break under the pressure of too many stretch goals.

So my challenge to everyone today is to pick a goal for yourself that will stretch you.  Something that you can hardly dare to think about, let alone attempt doing.  Something you don’t even want to talk about because it is that big.  Set a reasonable time frame for achievement and watch what happens.

The next principle that is important with the BHAG is to keep that goal in front of you all the time.  Read it over every single day, several times a day.  Put it on the mirror, the dashboard of the car, on your computer, anywhere you are for any period of time.  Make it front and center.

And one final thing about your BHAG, what if you don’t quite make it?  Well think about this.  Before it was a goal, it was a doubt or a dream you only dreamed in silent moments.  When you turned it into a goal you got closer to achieving it than ever before, so if you don’t quite make it, try again.  Make it next month’s BHAG and get a little further with it.  You will get there, trust me.

Hard Work and Dedication

I have spent the last several days watching the Olympics.  Of course being a transplanted Canadian living in Texas, with an American citizenship, it is just a little difficult to figure out who to cheer for at times, but I have my favorites on both teams.  I was excited to see Bilodeau win the first gold medal on Canadian soil and equally excited to see Apollo Ono win silver.  I love the Olympics because it brings out the best and the brightest in all the world to compete for gold and make their dreams come true.

They all have one thing in common.  They worked extraordinarily hard to get to the games.  Whether they win a medal or not, they spent the last four years perfecting, planning, practicing, dreaming, doing, sacrificing and rehearsing until they are at the top of their sport.  They are the best they can be at this point.  They are ready to compete.  We all understand that.  We are astounded at the dedication these people have to their dream.  We hang on, and cry over, every personal story of the athletes as they tell us what it took to get to these Olympics.  And what it took was lots and lots of hard work and dedication.  The kind of hard work and dedication that many of us will never have to put forth in our lives.  The kind of hard work and dedication that it takes to be extraordinary.

So why is it that, while we fully acknowledge that hard work and dedication bring about great reward, most of us still think that there is a quick and easy way to get to the top and make lots of money.  Why do so many of us think that some internet scheme or affiliate program is going to make us millions.  Why, because most of us want to take a short cut to success.  We don’t want to believe that the people that make the money and have successful businesses, had to work hard at all.  We don’t want to believe that we have to sacrifice and work hard, we want it to be easy.

We all need to take a page out of the Olympian play book and realize that whatever we chose to do in this life will have its obstacles.  There will be days when we soar and other days when we are sore!  But through it all, if we keep our goals in front of us and keep working our plan, we will make it to whatever podium we are dreaming about.   The trick is to stay focused and not get distracted by all those people who want us to take an easier road.  Because in the end, all of life requires hard work and dedication to finish well.  Do you want to finish well?  Don’t be afraid of the work, it will make the podium seem even sweeter!

What Would You Change?

Let me ask you one question?  If money were no object and you knew you could not fail, what one thing would you change about your life?

I am really not trying to stir up discontent, but I have found that this question often gets people thinking about how comfortable they are, and about what they could do to make their lives just a little more fulfilling.  You see I think that left to our own devices we like to be complacent.  We like to live our quiet routines without having to move to far to the left or right of our comfort zones.  We don’t like the inconvenience of having to make adjustments for others or giving up time or treasure to altruism.  In short, most of us are a little selfish.

Most of us tend to be consumed with making our lives work out for the best.  Few of us ever challenge ourselves in a way that might jeopardize our comfort.  Yes we all need to make a living and support our families, but there are hours in the day that we use solely to recover from the mind-numbing boredom of keeping the machine that is our lives, moving forward.

So, if you could, what would you change?  If you changed that one thing, would it benefit you or someone else?  If you could do anything you wanted to do, what would it be?  Would you change the choices that you have made to reflect a different life for yourself and for others.  Would you change careers, move to a new town,  get a degree, take up running, what would you do?

Whatever that one thing is, take some steps toward it.  Think about ways to make it part of your daily routine.  Shake up your life a little.  Maybe you can’t afford to change your entire life, and maybe you can’t trade in your desk job for a park ranger’s job, but maybe there are ways to just shift your existence a little.

Why am I talking about change?  Because even though we don’t like to change our routine, many of us live our entire lives in quiet desperation, feeling trapped, alone and powerless to make the necessary changes to move toward hope and happiness.  I believe that within each of us is the power to change and since we do control our thinking and our actions, are the only things we can change.

Now, I ask, not what would you change, but what can you change?  Do you have the courage to change what you can?  Step out and change one thing you can, and then another and another…

What Are You Hoping For?

Hope is a word that holds much promise.  We hope for the best, hope for a better job, hope our children will turn out okay, hope that the car will start in sub zero weather, hope for a promotion, hope for change.  In fact. our president ran on a platform of “hope”.  As humans we want to always believe that things will turn out in the end.  We want things to change for us, so we hope for change.

The problem in life is that we often need to do more than just hope.  Hoping is not alway enough to create change.  Now certainly there are times when all we can do is hope.  If your child is sick in the hospital, you must trust the doctors to do their job and then hope is all that is left.  If your son or daughter is in a foreign land fighting to maintain freedom, you must trust God and hope she will be fine.  However, in much of life we can do more than hope.

If you are looking for a better job, hoping is not enough.  You may need to improve your skills, or advance your education.  Perhaps you are like a lot of parents and you “hope” your kids will stay away from drugs and out of trouble.  Hope is not enough, you must spend time with them, cultivate relationships that make them “think” before they take wrong actions.

The best thing about hope is that it can sustain us during hard times, but the bad thing about hope is that it is not enough to effect change on its own.  Hoping for something better is only the first step to getting something better.  After hope must come planning and designing that “something better”, then comes the action of making hope a reality.  What are you hoping for today, and what are you doing to make your hope real?