Are You a Finisher?

In work and in life it is not always enough just to get started.  The first day of a diet, exercise plan, or resolve to change anything in one’s life is usually pretty easy.  You wake up, and “this is the first day of the rest of your life”, right!  Easy, you can do this, this time it will be different.  “I am in control.”  About mid way through the day, someone throws you a new dead line for a project, you lose a deal, something that you thought was a sure thing – isn’t.  But you are still okay, no need to turn to the old habit, you can handle this.  Life happens, no biggy, right?

After a few days and a few more disappointments, the vigor of the first day starts to wear a little thin.  Let’s face it, you lose, that is what you do, so why continue with the resolve to change.  Slowly you give in to your defeated feelings and by the end of the week it is all over, time to quit.

This same scenario can apply to something you are trying to achieve.  Maybe you are building a business, starting a charity, creating a new life for yourself.  You start strong, and the resolve lasts for a while and then you give up, “this can never work”, “what was I thinking?”  “I can’t achieve big things”.  And so the dream ends.

The difference between you and those that seem to “get lucky” and make it, is not that they are smarter, faster, have more money, or better connections.  The difference is that they just keep trying and ultimately they finish what they start.  Oh it may not look exactly as they thought it would in the beginning, but none-the-less they finish.  When they run into obstacles, they are just as disappointed as you, but instead of stopping, they just get up and go around, or over, or under the obstacle.

So how is such tenacity born?  Tenacity comes from inside of you.  It is learning to believe in what you are trying to accomplish and seeing yourself achieving it.  Tenacity comes from thinking positively and then speaking positively.  It comes from learning how to control your thinking, so that the urge to quit never enters your mind.

No mater what you are trying to accomplish, starting is not enough.  In order to live your dreams you must learn to become a finisher.  Start with the small stuff.  Finish that report, that book, or finish cleaning up the office.  Finish writing your resume, finish those phone calls.  Finishing is just as important as starting, and it feels even better.

New Year, New Passion

The new year has a way of making everyone feel like we have new resolve to accomplish anything.  It lays before us like freshly fallen snow.  Our first step in the year can be in any direction we want, it is still all uncharted, undisturbed and unknown.  It is full of possibilities and we all feel like this will be “our” year.  Our passion is high and our desire is to change our future.

We are happy to say goodbye to the last year.  By now it is bursting with the disappointments, distractions and perhaps even tragedies left over from last year’s passions and possibilities.  It is time to shake off the old year and look to the new year to bring about the changes we wanted the last.

At the beginning of each year is always a good time to not only plan all the things that we want to accomplish with the new year, but to examine how long those plans have been on the list.  We all know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome, but we continue to put things on our “to do” list each year that just never get done.  Now is a great time to ask ourselves what we can do differently.

Losing weight and stop smoking were among the top ten new year’s resolutions made by Americans this year.  If one or both of those things have been on your list for the last five years and you continue to fall short, perhaps it is not time to rethink the goal as much as, it is the strategy for accomplishment.  “Cutting back” on food is not working, perhaps its time for a personal trainer or nutritionist to help you step up the game.  If you can’t stop smoking on your own, perhaps a visit to the doctor is in order.  Many people fall short of their goals because they fail to seek the help they need to do so.

The same is true in your work or business.  What kind of goals are you trying to achieve?  Have you exhausted all of the ways to achieve the break through you need?  Probably not, most of us just dig in and keep trying.  The last thing most people resort to is asking for help, but whatever you are trying to do in your work, there is likely someone who has done it, perhaps it is time to ask how?

Nothing refreshes our passion for life and work more than achieving our goals.  When we can see ourselves as winners, we can go on to tackle bigger and better things in life.  Rarely, however, do we let ourselves do so because we just keep doing today, exactly what we did yesterday.  It may not work, but at least we are trying and we look pretty busy.

The phrase “think outside the box” comes from the idea that great achievements and amazing new products come from trying something just a little different, outside of “normal”.  So take a look around your box and decide which walls need to be pushed out.  If you have trouble conceptualizing where to push, get some help.  Talk to a friend or co-worker, read some books, hire a coach, take a class, whatever it takes to look at your problem differently, do it!

Resolve to be looking at completely new goals next year at this time.  Determine to break through and look for new outcomes to old problems.  Don’t keep looking in the same places for answers to old problems, start expanding your thinking and you will be amazed at the outcome.

 

Do Your Goals Stretch You?

I was listening to Matt Morris of the Unemployed Millionaire Blog talk about goals.  He was talking about big goals and how our goals should scare us a little.  He says we should set what he calls BHAG (big, hairy audacious goals) that stretch our thinking and our ability to achieve them.

I do have agree, that some of our goals should really stretch us.  So what what does that actually mean “stretch us”.  Let’s examine that word for a minute, if you think of an elastic band stretching, think about how we can stretch and stretch and stretch it, and it won’t break.  It just gets longer and bigger.  Now sometimes we can stretch them so far that they will break, so we want to make sure those goals don’t break us.  Another principle to keep in mind, is that we should not had a lot of “stretch goals”, just one or maybe two at a time.  That elastic band breaks under too much pressure, and you don’t want to break under the pressure of too many stretch goals.

So my challenge to everyone today is to pick a goal for yourself that will stretch you.  Something that you can hardly dare to think about, let alone attempt doing.  Something you don’t even want to talk about because it is that big.  Set a reasonable time frame for achievement and watch what happens.

The next principle that is important with the BHAG is to keep that goal in front of you all the time.  Read it over every single day, several times a day.  Put it on the mirror, the dashboard of the car, on your computer, anywhere you are for any period of time.  Make it front and center.

And one final thing about your BHAG, what if you don’t quite make it?  Well think about this.  Before it was a goal, it was a doubt or a dream you only dreamed in silent moments.  When you turned it into a goal you got closer to achieving it than ever before, so if you don’t quite make it, try again.  Make it next month’s BHAG and get a little further with it.  You will get there, trust me.

Hard Work and Dedication

I have spent the last several days watching the Olympics.  Of course being a transplanted Canadian living in Texas, with an American citizenship, it is just a little difficult to figure out who to cheer for at times, but I have my favorites on both teams.  I was excited to see Bilodeau win the first gold medal on Canadian soil and equally excited to see Apollo Ono win silver.  I love the Olympics because it brings out the best and the brightest in all the world to compete for gold and make their dreams come true.

They all have one thing in common.  They worked extraordinarily hard to get to the games.  Whether they win a medal or not, they spent the last four years perfecting, planning, practicing, dreaming, doing, sacrificing and rehearsing until they are at the top of their sport.  They are the best they can be at this point.  They are ready to compete.  We all understand that.  We are astounded at the dedication these people have to their dream.  We hang on, and cry over, every personal story of the athletes as they tell us what it took to get to these Olympics.  And what it took was lots and lots of hard work and dedication.  The kind of hard work and dedication that many of us will never have to put forth in our lives.  The kind of hard work and dedication that it takes to be extraordinary.

So why is it that, while we fully acknowledge that hard work and dedication bring about great reward, most of us still think that there is a quick and easy way to get to the top and make lots of money.  Why do so many of us think that some internet scheme or affiliate program is going to make us millions.  Why, because most of us want to take a short cut to success.  We don’t want to believe that the people that make the money and have successful businesses, had to work hard at all.  We don’t want to believe that we have to sacrifice and work hard, we want it to be easy.

We all need to take a page out of the Olympian play book and realize that whatever we chose to do in this life will have its obstacles.  There will be days when we soar and other days when we are sore!  But through it all, if we keep our goals in front of us and keep working our plan, we will make it to whatever podium we are dreaming about.   The trick is to stay focused and not get distracted by all those people who want us to take an easier road.  Because in the end, all of life requires hard work and dedication to finish well.  Do you want to finish well?  Don’t be afraid of the work, it will make the podium seem even sweeter!

What Would You Change?

Let me ask you one question?  If money were no object and you knew you could not fail, what one thing would you change about your life?

I am really not trying to stir up discontent, but I have found that this question often gets people thinking about how comfortable they are, and about what they could do to make their lives just a little more fulfilling.  You see I think that left to our own devices we like to be complacent.  We like to live our quiet routines without having to move to far to the left or right of our comfort zones.  We don’t like the inconvenience of having to make adjustments for others or giving up time or treasure to altruism.  In short, most of us are a little selfish.

Most of us tend to be consumed with making our lives work out for the best.  Few of us ever challenge ourselves in a way that might jeopardize our comfort.  Yes we all need to make a living and support our families, but there are hours in the day that we use solely to recover from the mind-numbing boredom of keeping the machine that is our lives, moving forward.

So, if you could, what would you change?  If you changed that one thing, would it benefit you or someone else?  If you could do anything you wanted to do, what would it be?  Would you change the choices that you have made to reflect a different life for yourself and for others.  Would you change careers, move to a new town,  get a degree, take up running, what would you do?

Whatever that one thing is, take some steps toward it.  Think about ways to make it part of your daily routine.  Shake up your life a little.  Maybe you can’t afford to change your entire life, and maybe you can’t trade in your desk job for a park ranger’s job, but maybe there are ways to just shift your existence a little.

Why am I talking about change?  Because even though we don’t like to change our routine, many of us live our entire lives in quiet desperation, feeling trapped, alone and powerless to make the necessary changes to move toward hope and happiness.  I believe that within each of us is the power to change and since we do control our thinking and our actions, are the only things we can change.

Now, I ask, not what would you change, but what can you change?  Do you have the courage to change what you can?  Step out and change one thing you can, and then another and another…

What Are You Hoping For?

Hope is a word that holds much promise.  We hope for the best, hope for a better job, hope our children will turn out okay, hope that the car will start in sub zero weather, hope for a promotion, hope for change.  In fact. our president ran on a platform of “hope”.  As humans we want to always believe that things will turn out in the end.  We want things to change for us, so we hope for change.

The problem in life is that we often need to do more than just hope.  Hoping is not alway enough to create change.  Now certainly there are times when all we can do is hope.  If your child is sick in the hospital, you must trust the doctors to do their job and then hope is all that is left.  If your son or daughter is in a foreign land fighting to maintain freedom, you must trust God and hope she will be fine.  However, in much of life we can do more than hope.

If you are looking for a better job, hoping is not enough.  You may need to improve your skills, or advance your education.  Perhaps you are like a lot of parents and you “hope” your kids will stay away from drugs and out of trouble.  Hope is not enough, you must spend time with them, cultivate relationships that make them “think” before they take wrong actions.

The best thing about hope is that it can sustain us during hard times, but the bad thing about hope is that it is not enough to effect change on its own.  Hoping for something better is only the first step to getting something better.  After hope must come planning and designing that “something better”, then comes the action of making hope a reality.  What are you hoping for today, and what are you doing to make your hope real?

Be Still

We all have our own way of handling uncertainty, indecision and even crisis.  There is, built into all of us, a method by which we cope with all the things that life throws at us.  I remember when my mother passed away, well before her age indicated that it was her time, I just kept busy.  I needed to move and do things, because I have a “doing personality”.  For others, there is the need to contemplate, to remember and still others seemingly fall apart, but even that is a way of coping.  Rarely, do people ever deal with problems and questions or even crisis, by becoming still.  Most of us feel the need to react, to grow, to change to do something.  However, doing something is not always the answer.

I find that, particularly when decisions and choices weigh heavily on my mind, being still and silent are far more valuable then any of my “doing and trying”.  There is something powerful, even profound,  in the act of stillness.  The acknowledgment that I am not in control, frees my mind and makes me let go of the temporal that I think I control.  It reminds me that in spite of the value that I often place on my own resources, in the end the outcomes are in the hands of one greater and wiser.  I need to lean into that more often.

That stillness awakens other possibilities.  By letting go and being still, the ideas and options that the hurried, busy mind have no time for, slowly emerge to help solve problems.  When we let go of our own will, we are free to be inspired by others.

The stillness also brings peace.  In stillness we are open to the voice that we cannot hear when we are rushing around trying to order our world our way.  Because God rarely speaks in loud places and does not appear on prime time, we never get to hear Him except when we are still.  His voice brings peace and assurance of the best outcome for our problems.

In my mind’s eye, I see my stillness as sitting alone in a green pasture, by calm, still waters, with animals and flowers all around me.  For you it may be in a dark corner of a library with a good book, or a quiet coffee shop or even a mountain top.  But whatever your stillness is in your mind, go there often.  Be still and wait for answers and inspiration.  Don’t be afraid that your absence will cause the world to stop, it won’t.  I have found that even if, in my stillness I find no answers, the problems I come back to are never as large as I thought.

Whatever your problems are, being still will bring them into clear focus and help you to find the answers you seek.  Be still…

Encourage Someone Today!

Life can be a very lonely place at times.  We go through so much and no one ever really knows about it.  We wear our happy little smiles but rarely do most people feel as good as they are trying to appear.  That is why one really good way to make yourself actually feel great, is to encourage someone else.

Think of all the faces that you see every day.  The person who serves your coffee at Starbucks, the gal who brings you your sandwich at the lunch counter, the UPS guy who runs around your building delivering stuff, and the person at the drive-thru window at Wendy’s or your bank.  All of these people are sharing space on the planet with you and many of them could use a little encouragement.

You might be asking, “why should I bother, they don’t make an effort to encourage me?”.  Remember, givers gain, if you start to give encouragement you will get it back.  But someone has to start.  Why not tell the receptionist in the doctor’s office how nice she looks, or thank the UPS guy for always taking good care of your packages.  Tell somebody that you appreciate what they do and pretty soon, people will begin to see you as someone they want to be around because you are an encourager.  And that’s not all, you will feel pretty good too.  When you compliment others they smile, and you smile and soon everyone is smiling and smiling is just good medicine.

Think about who you can encourage today.

What’s On Your Mind?

Do you ever wonder what people are thinking about?  This year, in the US,  we have faced some very critical problems from financial issues to national safety and terrorism.  You would think that these deep weighty issues would make us a sober, serious group of people.  So just for fun I went to www.searchengineland.com and asked what are burning internet search questions were in 2009.  Here are the top 10 search questions.

1. How much should I weigh?
2. How do I get out of debt fast?
3. How do I get pregnant?
4. What is Twitter?
5. What is Miley Cyrus’ phone number?
6. What is the meaning of life?
7. When will the world end?
8. How long does marijuana stay in your system?
9. What are the symptoms of Swine Flu?
10. What time is it?

Now I will admit I have often wondered how much I should weigh, but I have never asked the internet.  I don’t have enough debt to need out fast although a lottery win would be nice and I definitely don’t want to get pregnant!  And I am sorry, “what is Twitter?”, really? It would be nice to talk to Miley but she is not the first on my list of people I would love to talk to, and I guess I know how people relieve stress with question number 8.  I think I googled number 9 once and I am sorry but if you can google “what time is it?” can’t you look at the little clock on your computer or maybe the same people googling number 8 also google number 10.

Numbers 6 and 7 were of particular interest to me. Whenever I write about purpose, those blogs are the most often read.  I think that deep inside of each of us there is a longing to know what the meaning of life is and whether or not our lives have purpose.  Most of the time we cover those questions with the peripherals of life that distract us from really pursuing our purpose or our passion.  It is easier to try and find Miley’s phone number that to search deep inside ourselves for the answers that could fulfill us and make our lives more meaningful.  So what’s on your mind right now and what is Twitter?

What’s Your Time Management Like?

Many people think of time management as making lists and checking off tasks.  But it really is much more than that.  Time management is really understanding how you spend your time and then learning how to budget it more wisely.  If we would think of time in the same way we think of our money we would realize that, like our money, it will eventually run out.  If you want to get things accomplished in life, you must learn to budget your time.

How much time to you waste looking for things you have misplaced?  How much time do you waste looking for things you thought you filed?  Do you waste time waiting for children to be done an activity because it costs to much to drive back and forth?  Are their pockets of time in your day that you can reclaim?

The first step in good time management is to figure out where your time is going currently.  I tell clients to take a one week segment and carry a notebook with them at all times to write down what they do all day.  Make note of everything, from getting up and getting ready for work or the day to brushing your teeth and hitting the pillow at night.  This information is often a revelation to people, most of us have no idea how much time we waste doing unnecessary things.

I challenge you to take the test!  See exactly where your time goes.  For time management tips check out my web site at www.refinedperspectives.com