Motives – Make Sure Yours are True!

Have you ever sat across from someone and know that what they are saying is the farthest thing from what they mean?  Maybe its a friend, a relative, a business associate, whatever, they are telling you that they are interested in helping you and you know that what they are really doing is trying to help themselves.  They say “I just love to help people” and you hear “I would love you to hire me to help you do this job”.  What you are really reading is their motive, and motive is much more transparent that we really know.

In our cynical society we have all learned that sometimes what people say is not always what they mean.  They tell us they have our best interest in mind and then we find out they tell that to everyone.  What people who are masters at charming others into believing they “just want to help” or “they have a passion for people” don’t realize is that most folks have a built in “radar” for this type of behavior and once they are burned by this type of behavior they are twice shy.  That little red flag that goes up inside you when you get around disingenuous people is your built in protection against being taken advantage of, so listen to it and test the waters of all your relationships with its wisdom.

So if you are someone who wants to really help others, either with your product or service, how do you make sure that you don’t get misunderstood and lumped in with the pretenders.  First of all, be real!  Whatever you are doing, be true to who you are.  Don’t waste time “spinning” anything, your work, your services, your life, anything.  Now I don’t mean that you should share all your deepest, darkest secrets with everyone you meet, but at the same time, don’t pretend about anything.

Secondly, make sure you if you tell someone you are going to do something, that you do!  Follow through says a lot about character.  If you want people to believe you, your actions will speak volumes.

Support causes you genuinely care about.  Don’t just get involved for the networking, get involved because you care.

Love what you do.  Sometimes that is hard, but people really can tell if you do what you do because you are excited about your product or service.  People buy from genuine, excited people.

Motives are so important, make sure yours are pure and you will go far in life and in work.

Thinking Strategically

Whether in life, work or business ownership it thinking strategically is often a overlooked.  We may be good at getting day-to-day tasks done and staying on top of our live, but thinking strategically is not something we often consider.

So what does thinking strategically look like?  Well remember in the old cowboy movies how the good guys (and sometimes the bad guys) would usually go up on a hill to look down on the enemy to get a better idea of what they were doing below.  From here they would formulate a plan.  That is what strategic thinking looks like!

In the case of your life or business, it is stepping back and asking yourself questions like, where will I be this time next year?  Or what is the next step for my business or career?  After answering these questions one can then move forward with goal setting and thinking about how to make the strategic plan a reality.

Without the step of strategic thinking, we are all just setting goals to get through the day.  Know where you are going, think strategically!

So Are You Twittering?

The race is on to get as many people following you on Twitter as quickly as possible.  There are lots of people out there ready to help you figure out how to do and they are happy to sell you a piece of software that will get you thousands of followers quickly.

Before you either rush out and buy all the tools to Twitter your way to the top, or waste a lot of time reading mindless quotes and sales talk,  let me ask you how Twittering fits into your business plan.

I think there is a lot of value in establishing online relationships and meeting new people who may be interested in your product or service, but before you follow the crowd, make sure you just ask yourself if this is a valid way to build you business.  If the answer is yes, create a systematic approach to making good contacts with Twitter or Facebook or other social networks.  If not, then don’t waste the time online that you could be using to market in person to someone in a local networking group.

A common problem among many small business owners is that they are falling into the attraction of the possibilities presented by the vast wide world out there online versus the smaller networks we actually have to talk to right in front of us.  It seems so much easier to try and reach our clients online than in person.  In reality we often waste a lot of time tweeting when we could just be going to Starbucks and reaching the people we know.

Maybe Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Ning, and others really are a great option for your business. Or maybe they are just one piece of the puzzle, but be sure you take a strategic approach to using these venues for marketing.

On the other hand, if you Twitter just for fun or you Facebook to keep up with friends and family, enjoy the venue it can be fun and you can meet some great people.  Being strategic can just keep you from wasting time because “everyone is doing it”.  Examine your motives and your needs and tweet your little heart out.

Stress Is an Institution!

Did you know that there is an American Institute of Stress.  I know, I was shocked too!  There is even an International Congress on Stress.  It was “initiated in an attempt to assemble leading authorities from all over the world to present cutting edge research advances and state of the art reviews” as quoted from the web site, www.stress.org.  In June of 1983 Time Magazine’s cover story was on stress and it said it was “the Epidemic of the Eighties” and referred to it as our leading health problem.  Evidently, that is when we all started working, eating and doing too much!  I am slightly more stressed just knowing that we are stressed to the point in this world that we have our own Institute of Stress.

As I have discovered this startling new institute, (new to me anyway) I can’t help but wonder what has made us more stressed.  I am old enough to remember a time when, as a child, I had to walk to a neighbor’s house to use the phone.  Now granted I lived in the heart of Canadian farm country and not everyone had a phone, but then we didn’t need a phone for much either.  I don’t remember needing a stress institute either.

I can’t help but wonder if, in our effort to get ahead, we have actually fallen behind a little in the area of life satisfaction.  We have to work a lot harder than our parents did, just to make sure our kids have the things we never had.  We work longer because, well we need to keep our jobs.  We go farther to get to work, because we want to live in a nice neighborhood that we don’t get to spend a lot of time in.  We carry devises with us that are designed to make life easier, but in fact make it possible for us to work harder at a faster pace.  And to top it all off we have computers and TV screens that doctors now believe contribute to our inability to fall asleep at night because of the excessive unnatural light they produce by being in our bedrooms with us.  (I have got to stop sleeping with the TV on while surfing the net!)

Sadly, just because we have an International Institute of Stress, does not mean that it will affect the stress in any of our lives.  They have some great suggestions on their web site to help reduce and manage stress, however if we want our stress level to change the ball is in our court.  We all know that life just comes with a certain amount of stress.  And some stress even helps us to get better at our jobs and lives in general.  But each of us must recognize for ourselves when stress is out of control in our lives and we must take action to control it.

Figure out the things that stress you the most and take some steps to make changes.  Maybe your daily commute leaves you angry and rung out, look for ways to enjoy the drive.  When I have to drive long distances, I will pop in a book-on-tape.  Maybe your kids are too much for you, find a friend and trade babysitting.  Shut off the phone for thirty minutes while you eat lunch, take a 15-minute break to listen to your favorite music.  Take a walk, a jog or do some yoga, just find something that becomes a pressure valve for you.

Stress does not have to overcome us, as long as we can make decisions that make us stronger, we are in the driver’s seat in the stress reduction game.  The more effort we make to live more simply, enjoy small pleasures and manage daily annoyances, the better able we are to live healthier, happier lives.  Stress is always at the door, but you are the one who gets to choose whether the door remains closed or not.

Make Friends With Time!

Have you ever thought about your relationship with time?  Many of us think about how much or how little time we have, but rarely do we think about time itself.  When I was speaking to a group of people recently I asked them how they thought about time.  The answers were interesting.  Some felt time was the enemy, they were getting older and not accomplishing much.  Others felt time was scarce, they had more obligations than time.  Others just felt they could not enjoy time because they just had too much to do.  Only one person felt at peace with time.

No matter how we view time it doesn’t change it.  We really can’t manage time, because we can’t control it.  Although I have often thought it would be nice to be able to stop time and just enjoy the moments before they slip away forever.

So how can we make friends with time?   Well you gotta have a plan!  Like money, we have to be able to plan how to spend it.  The people that have the best relationship with time are those folks that have disciplined themselves to budget their time to their advantage.  Like money, time is limited.  It may seem, especially if you are young that time is limitless, but believe me it runs out for all of us.  So the best way to make friends with a limited resource is planning how we will spend it.

Set some goals that will help you use your time in a fashion that provides you with something in return.  For instance, set a goal to accomplish something that you have been wanting to do for a long time.  Maybe it is enjoyable, maybe it is just a task you haven’t gotten done and must be done.  Plan on when you want to have the project finished, how many sessions it will take to finish and how long those sessions will be.  Then put it on your schedule.  Once you begin to get into the habit of accomplishing goals it becomes addictive.  Soon you will become excited about time and feel that it is an ally in making you better.

Making time your friend is really about discipline.  Realize that the time you have is the present, today.  Today you can choose to use time wisely or waste it, but remember you will never get it back, once you have used it, it is gone.  Yesterday is a memory and tomorrow is a dream, seize today and make friends with it, disciplining yourself to do exactly what you want to do.

We tend to regret the past and look forward to the future, so today is the day to start capturing dreams and making them reality.  How have you used today?  Was it your friend.

More About Networking

I was at one of my early morning networking events and because lately, I have been thinking about what makes a “profitable” networking experience, I sort of sat back and observed a little this morning and I came up with a couple more tips for everyone.

1. Don’t come to eat – Most networking groups are designed around a meal or coffee time. The real networkers in the group forgo the food and just grab a coffee and start working the crowd.

2. Arrive early and stay late – The really good networkers, those that manage to get business out of any group, are those that arrive early and hang around to visit people at the end. Don’t bother going to a group if you have to leave early to be someplace else.

3. Don’t talk about yourself – When you give your thirty-second commercial, tell people what you can do for them, not how great you are. People only want to know what’s in it for them, they won’t remember how many degrees you have or how long you have been in business. Tell them that stuff in a one-on-one. Example: Hi, my name is Sharon and I help my clients set and achieve their goals both personally and professionally. (BTW – I am open to suggestions on that one – any ideas on what would resonate more?)

4. Collect business cards – This seems obvious but sometimes we get so busy giving them out we forget to collect cards from people. Usually there is an email address and you can contact people later on and continue or start a conversation.

5. Stick around – Most networking groups take a little while to become a part of and people won’t refer business to you if they think you have a lot of other groups you are “mining” for leads. Pick some groups you enjoy and stick with them for awhile and get to know people. Once folks feel you are part of the group, you start getting referral business.

6. Put some time into starting your own group – As a group leader you get to set the ground rules, and if you happen to be in an industry that is very common, like insurance, financial planning, chiropractic; you can be the contact for that industry. People love and are drawn to leaders, so this is a great way to get to know a lot of people.

I hope some of these tips prove useful and if anyone has anything to add please feel free to comment, I am always looking for new ways to get my business noticed. Happy networking!