Balance Test

Because balance or life balance is such a subjective concept it is a good idea to think about what it looks like in real life.  In my practice I meet people in various stages of balance and I try and bring them to a place of complete balance and then give them the accountability they need to stay there.

A balanced person often seems to the rest of us like they are completely in control.  They seem happy and at ease with themselves and others.  Often these people seem to have boundless energy, and accomplish more than the average person.  This sounds pretty perfect doesn’t it?   Although these people seem perfect they are not, they are just know their priorities and are able to stay focused on their goals.  As with anything, knowledge is power, and in this case the knowledge of priorities and the skill to focus on them creates a life of balance.

There are those people who have pockets of balance in their lives.  For instance, they seem to be able to maintain a good work/home balance very well.  They manage to juggle getting the kids to daycare, grocery shop, do household chores and still meet all the expectations of their employer.  However to accomplish this they may completely neglect other important areas of life like their health or emotional life.  These folks may  never have time to exercise, eat poorly and may be overweight.  They never have the time for personal refreshment and often do not keep up on reading either for leisure or work.  They may not have time for friends and outside interests.  I had a co-worker sometime ago that had a lot on her plate and did seem to keep everything together.  She was lucky enough to be naturally thin, so she rarely exercised.  But she had no time for personal relationships, and never went to lunch with friends or co-workers, and had little time for herself.  She was very pleasant and managed her “to-do’s” well, but had high cholesterol and had few friends.  Even though these folks get the tasks of life/work done, they are imbalanced in that they make no time for their own personal health and well-being.

The last person I want to discuss is someone who is completely out of balance.  There life is all about work.  She is the classic workaholic.  The people around this person pick up the slack.  The concentrate so much on one area of life, usually work, and everything else, friends, health, emotion and mental development, family all have to fit in the delicate balance of their work schedule.  Do you know anyone like this?  Maybe you are this person.

A truly balanced person is not merely using good time management tools, but rather is making choices and decisions of what to do based on a carefully crafted set of values.  He or she has taken time to understand the priorities on which they have built the foundation of life.  Opportunities that do not fit into those values are never even given consideration, making life easier to balance.  Once one narrows down the field of opportunities to be considered, life becomes much easier to navigate.

What category do you fall into?  Are you balanced, somewhat balanced, or do you not even know where to begin.  Life is to short to miss out on the richness of family and friends.  There is an old saying that is appropriate for this subject.  “No one ever said on their death bed, I wish I had worked more”.

On the Road to Balance

Balancing everything we have to do can often lead to more stress than it does balance.  Often the biggest obstacle to creating balance in one’s life is lack of understanding about exactly where to start.

So how do we begin the journey toward a more balanced life.  First, one must take stock of all areas of one’s life.  Take an aerial view of your life.  How do you spend all your time?  Pay attention to such details as how much time to you spend sleeping, exercising, with your children, with your spouse, participating in a hobby.  This exercise will be an eye-opener for many people, because most of us go blissfully about our day not really knowing how we spend our time.

The second step in creating a more balanced lifestyle is to review one’s values.  This exercise may take a little more effort. Values are foundational beliefs that anchor our lives, the things that matter to us the most, nonnegotiable characteristics that best describe who we are.  For my clients I use a list of words such as:  family, friends, accomplishment, efficiency, elegance, faithfulness, control, caution, enlightenment and so on, to help them think about what is most important to them.  I suggest that one should identify their values for all aspects of their lives.  When this exercise is complete one should have an understanding of what is most important in one’s professional and long term career, family relationships, friendships, mental and physical health and hobbies or personal growth.

This exercise will take some time to be thoroughly completed.  The idea is to give oneself a good foundation of values to help you decide what areas of your life need balancing.  Knowing what is important makes it easier to remove the things in our life that keep us from finding balance and fulfillment.  It also helps us to categorize all of the tasks and goals we have as contributing a specific aspect of life and value held for that area.  Knowing why one participates in an activity gives that activity meaning.  For instance, if I value good health, participating in an exercise program makes sense.

Understand your values and you will understand yourself and you will be ready to create balance for yourself.

Hit the Ground Running!

Well the year is well underway, whether we like it or not. I have had a slow start with a flu bug sidelining me for a few days last week. I am prepared for a lot of events, but I never get used to being taken aside by something I can’t control. Control-freak much! Anyway, my head is finally clear enough to start thinking about the month of January and what it means.

I like to think of January as a chance to tweak my life a little. I like to start by cleaning things up in my physical world . I know this sounds geaky, but I just like to get things in order for the new year. I go through files, clean things out and make new folders ready for the new year ahead.

While it is nice start with a clean slate in the office or home, it is also a good time to evaluate what you need to clean up in other areas of your life as well. Are there habits in your life that hold you back? Are there habits that you should develop that would make your life more profitable physically, mentally or spiritually?

Moving forward in life often requires that we stop and take a breath. To be productive and effective, at work and at home, take some time to evaluate 2007. Did it roll out the way you wanted? Maybe there were events in last year that were out of your control, and changed your life forever. Maybe it was just an ordinary year. Either way, stop and make sure it is over. If you need to grieve the loss of a loved-one, job, relationship – do it. Maybe you developed some bad habits or bad relationships – change them. Don’t let 2007 shadow the opportunities that lay ahead in 2008 with unfinished business. Deal with problems, embrace change, and trust God to move ahead.

I realize that sounds easy, but I know it can be difficult. Sometimes the same problems spill into many new years. Problems that are well beyond our control like illness, money problems, job issues and loss. Grieving for loss of any kind, for instance, is a process but we must let ourselves work through old issues in order to move forward. My point is we need to clean out the mental clutter to be able to hit the ground running in a new year. Take control of the things that you can and allow the Lord to take the burden for all the rest.