Pick Up a Shovel!

I recently finished teaching a seminar with a small group of people who wanted to explore the idea of self-understanding and  personal development.  This mostly “soft skills” seminar is always enlightening to participants and really gets them to thinking about how they are responsible for there own success or failure.  Getting in touch with one’s personality strengths and weaknesses and purpose is a powerful tool in creating greater success.  Once again, I was struck by how little time we give to really understanding ourselves and how we affect those around us.

In the four part series we take one session to examine the things that may be holding us back in both our personal and professional life.  Things like fear of change, indecision, being a bully, being too loud, demonstrating “know-it-all behavior and the like, all have a profound effect on how people view us and how we develop in our career.  Most of us go happily through life without ever taking stalk of the things that might hold us back from real success.

My point is that most of the people I worked with have been or are currently in the corporate arena and had all been exposed to various tests and activities that should help them explore the parts of themselves that could be capitalized for success and the parts that needed work.  However the tool that was missing was self-examination and drawing conclusions that would lead to change.

It is not always enough to know that there is a bump in the road to be avoided, sometimes we actually need to pick up a shovel and fill it in.  Hopefully you are aware of the bumps in your road, my question is do you have a shovel?  Take some time to take stock of what you know about yourself and ask the question “am I a friend or enemy to my success?  If the answer is “foe” than a shovel should be on your shopping list.

How Do You Treat Others?

Are you one of those people who lives with only yourself in mind? Do you view the world through the lens of how things affect you?  Do you bull doze through your days with little regard for the feelings, needs and ideas  of co-workers, vendors, friends and family?  Do people tip-toe around you for fear of upsetting you?  Are people simply afraid of you?

Have you ever considered how this type of behavior may be affecting your overall success in life and business?  Maybe you have been too busy running over everyone to notice that although you may be hopping up the ladder, your success with relationships is limited.

Some of the behaviors that we exhibit in our daily behavior seem normal to us, however when others find us hard to deal with, we limit our effectiveness, and thus limit our success.  Pushy, angry behavior is one of those traits of stronger personalities that is not only off-putting, it is offensive to some.  It can also be detrimental to our own health.  Additionally, if you are perpetually angry you raise your blood pressure and can cause serious health problems.

I here a chorus of people saying “well that is just how I am, get over it!”.  And that may well be true, but we all have it within our power to re-learn how we are when it comes to those traits in our personality which can be controlled.  It may be part of you to react quickly and anger easily, but you can learn how to manage your anger so as not to explode over those around you.  Just as others must push through feelings of fear, you must learn positive ways to control your anger.  Learning how to control how you respond to people and situations can improve your chances at success relationships and business.

We are all prone to behaviors that can derail us, the trick is understanding them and then finding ways to control them and not allow them to hurt us.  In the end, although others take the brunt of the behavior, this behavior has the most detrimental effect on our own lives.  So how to you walk through life?  Are you hurting your chances of success?

Make Your Life Better!

Are you one of those people who feels as though the best things in life are just beyond your reach?  You will never be at the top of any ladder, you will never have the biggest house, drive the best car or have the best relationships.  Your life will never be what you want it to be.  And to make you certain this is true, your track record has consistently demonstrated that you only have a moderate amount of success and then situations change or you get into a relationship and after awhile something goes wrong.  You have come to accept the facts as they are and you have decided this is just the way things will be for you.

Have you ever considered that maybe you could change some things about yourself that would make all the difference?  Have you ever tried asking other people what would get you to the next level?  As I help people identify their personality and it strengths and weaknesses I am always astounded by how people often fail recognize things about themselves that consistently hold them back from having the best life possible.

Things like fear of change, angry outbursts, lack of motivation, lack of self control and focus, fear of intimacy, and running rough shod over people have a profound affect on how people receive us.  And yet all of these things are within our power to change.  Although our general temperament traits are hard-wired and we really can’t change our personalities, understanding our personality and the weaknesses that hold us back can make a huge impact on moving us ahead in life both personally and professionally.

The converse can also be true, understanding exactly what your strengths are and then developing them can also provide valuable assistance in propelling yourself forward.  If you have never taken the time to understand your temperament visit my web site at www.refinedperspectives.com and click on personality test and start changing your life for the better.

Life does not have to be so difficult.  Your life can be richer and fuller, it just takes some understanding and a little discipline to get where you want to go.  Start enriching your life today!