Know Thyself!

Some people are their own worst enemy.   They have great talent in many areas but maybe their temper gets the better of them and they destroy deals by being too aggressive.  Perhaps they are incredibly artistic and their art is moving and beautiful, but they lack the confidence to share it with the world.  Still others never get anywhere in life because they go from scheme to scheme not sticking with anything long enough to take hold and produce significant success.  It is not just enough to understand our strengths, even though that is what we like to talk about, it is vitally important to understand the weak side of our natures.

That’s right, as with all of nature, we are all two sides to the same coin.  We all have incredible strengths and abilities, but by the same token we are balanced by a weak side that can, if we allow it, diminish our success.  So how do we prevent that?

As with most things knowledge is power, and if we take the time to learn a little about our temperament we can learn to manage its down side.  We can’t change our temperament, but we can manage it.  We can learn the characteristics that hold us back and take steps to grow through them.  For instance, if your temperament is prone to anger, look at the situations and people that make you angry and understand why they do so.  Learn some anger management techniques.  Figure out what triggers your anger.  I choose anger, because my personality can be angry and mean, and so I have learned how to control my responses to situations that could make me angry.  I have learned how to count to ten, so to speak.

The way we act is not solely a result of our temperament, and we should never use it as an excuse for bad behavior or failures in our lives.  You should never hear the words “that’s just how I am” coming out of your mouth as an excuse for inexcusable behavior.  The fact of the matter is that taking responsibility for your personality and learning to control it and use the best parts of it, is what sets us apart from the animals.

There are many factors that affect how we turn out, our family background, early traumas or a loving and nurturing environment, have a bearing on who we become.  Our temperament is inherited from our parents, just like our eye color and that goofy walk, but we can choose to use our gifts to make our lives better and diminish the weaknesses so that we can also make the lives of those who have to live with us better as well.

How well do you know yourself?  Is your temperament holding you back from being a better spouse/parent/friend?  Do you want more out of life?  Start by looking in the mirror.